Some Idiot Sank a Tesla Cybertruck After Launching a PWC

I've said it before, I'll say it again. The Cybertruck isn't a real truck.

Photo by: TowBoatUS Ventura

By: Jonathon Klein

Mar 13, at 8:27am ET

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I've said this before, I'll say it again, and I'll say it right to the face of the owner, but the Tesla Cybertruck isn't a real truck. It's a garbage can on wheels. And a garbage can that breaks a lot, can't actually tow, haul, or do any real truck things. There's also the whole Elon thing, who's absolutely an idiot.

But the folks who own these monstrosities aren't really truck people either, and it shows whenever they attempt to do "Real Truck Shit!" That's why you have Reddit communities like r/Cyberstuck that details all the ways Cybertruck owners fail to grasp how basic truck things are done. You get Cybertrucks getting stuck in mud, nearly chopping off fingers, Cybertrucks stuck in snow, the hitches breaking the frames, and so much more.

And now you can add failing to be a boat, as Elon once promised it could do, as while a Cybertruck owner was attempting to launch their PWC, the "truck" sank in the Ventura, California harbor. No, you can't hear me laughing from your side of the screen, but I assure you, I very much am.

Photo by: TowBoatUS Ventura

If you don't recall, ahead of the Cybertruck's launch, Musk stated that the vehicle would "be waterproof enough to serve briefly as a boat, so it can cross rivers, lakes & even seas that aren’t too choppy." Clearly, he was speaking metaphorically, just as he said the windows of the truck were bulletproof, as was the exterior. Guess what isn't bulletproof?

According to the Los Angeles Times, the Ventura Harbor Patrol saw the supposedly boat-like truck already in the water and going down fast when they got there. The driver of the truck said they "meant to put the vehicle in drive after launching a Jet Ski but accidentally threw it in reverse, causing it to slide down the ramp and into the water." I'm not sure how you do that in a Cybertruck, since you can't throw the truck into gear as the selection is push-buttons...

Likewise, shouldn't some 800 horsepower, million pound-feet of torque supertruck be able to extricate itself off the ramp, even if it's slippery? I mean, my Honda Ridgeline can do that and that's not even body-on-frame.

The team then had the worrying duty of rescuing the electric truck out of the salt water, which is known to cause EV fires. "When I first heard that it’s a Cybertruck, I immediately thought of the batteries,” Carson Shevitz, captain of TowBoatUS Ventura told the Times, adding, "It wasn’t an ‘oh cool,’ it was an ‘oh great,’ because there’s a lot of unknown things we have to figure out."

In the end, the batteries didn't go pop and fry everything in the surrounding area and the rescuers were able to get the truck out of the harbor. But again, it's just not a truck, so stop pretending it is.